


it will come back

by Murf1307



Series: blue skies forever [4]
Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Angst, Darwin is Alive, Developing Relationship, F/M, Trans Alex Summers, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 06:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18309824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Murf1307/pseuds/Murf1307
Summary: After the attack on the compound, the remaining members of the team remove to Westchester.  Alex struggles with what happened, and whether or not she should say something about the kiss she and Darwin shared.





	it will come back

Darwin's okay.

Darwin's okay, and that's the only thing that matters as the five of them pick their way out of the rubble.  Alex keeps herself at his side, not wanting to look away, for fear of losing him like she  _ almost just did. _

The five of them clump together around a bench just outside where the front door used to be, Darwin and Alex sharing the bench, Sean criss-cross applesauce on the ground, and the others arrayed around, leaning against the low stone walls that had decorated the place, before everything went to shit.

“You alright?” Darwin asks her, reaching out and curling his hand around hers.

She tenses, her eyes flicking around to the others, but no one seems to have noticed, and she forces herself to relax.  “I should be asking you that. You — you could’ve  _ died _ ,” she whispers.  “And then what would we have done?”

What would  _ she _ have done?  Angel’s gone, and while Raven’s a decent enough friend, Alex feels  _ safer _ when Darwin’s around.

“Adapted,” he murmurs gently.  “But it’s cool, I’m fine.” He squeezes her hand.  “Besides, I’m pretty sure I can’t die.”

She doesn’t know what to say to that, because she can sense a story behind it.  Instead, she just looks down at their linked hands. “Just...don’t ask me to do something like that again, okay?”

He squeezes her hand again, tighter this time.  “I won’t,” he promises. 

She believes him, but there’s a growing weight in her stomach that makes her think that next time, he won’t have a choice.

 

* * *

 

She can’t believe the  _ scope _ of the Xavier family mansion, in all honesty, when they arrive there the next day.  It’s  _ massive. _

Her hand is still tangled in Darwin’s; for the most part, this is how it’s been since they sat down on that bench yesterday morning.  She doesn’t know if it means anything, because they haven’t talked about the kiss, and he hasn’t tried to kiss her again, but she appreciates his presence all the same.

“Wow,” Sean says from somewhere behind her, finally breaking the silence in the wake of Charles announcing that yes, this was  _ his _ house.  “Reminds me of home, a bit.”

Alex twists around, a little shocked, and she’s not the only one.  “What?” Raven asks, curious.

“I’ll have to show you guys pictures of the Keep,” Sean says, shrugging a little.  “Been a while since I’ve been back there, but, y’know. Irish castle, and all that.”

“You grew up in a  _ castle?” _ Hank interjects, scandalized.  

Alex shakes her head at all of this.  “Jeez, man, you couldn’t‘ve talked about this before?”

Sean laughs.  “Yeah, well, it never came up.”

Some of the tension that still hangs like a shroud around the group has eased a little in the wake of this exchange.  Charles takes the afforded chance and smiles. “Yes, I agree, perhaps Sean could give us some Irish stories over lunch, once we’ve all settled in.”

With that, they all head up the walk, dragging or carrying what luggage they still have left, and arrive at the door.

“Do you have staff?” Sean asks Charles.

“We used to,” Raven says.  “But we were in England for a few years, so we had to let them go before Charles started at Oxford.”

Sean nods.  “Cassidy Keep’s got leprechauns,” he says, easily, as if that’s not a ridiculous thing to say to people.  “So it’s not got human staff, exactly.”

“...Leprechauns?” Hank asks, his voice faint.

“Mhm,” Sean says, again, as if this is normal.

“ _ Leprechauns, _ ” Hank repeats, as though it’s the most unbelievable thing in the world.

Alex can’t help but agree, just a little.

 

* * *

 

Her room is right next to Raven’s, and that means Raven corners her while everyone is settling in, and so Alex is finally away from Darwin.

“Are you okay?” she asks, and she sounds, well, as intense as Raven always sounds.  “Considering what happened —“

“I’m fine,” Alex insists.  “I mean, are  _ you? _ ”

Raven takes a deep breath.  “Okay, no,” she admits, running a hand back through her hair.  “I just...everything is so much worse than I thought it was going to be, and now Angel’s gone.”  Her voice twists on the last two words.

“Yeah,” Alex agrees.  “Everything’s shitty, and we’re stuck without her.”

“I think it’s my fault.”  Raven bites her lip. “I’m not sure what I said, but I think — I think I made her feel bad, right before everything went to shit, and that’s part of why she left with Shaw.”

“Well, shit.”  Alex rolls her shoulders.  “I mean, it’s probably not just you,” she points out.  “Angel’s seen some shit.”

“So‘ve you.”

“Yeah, but…”  She sighs. “I wasn’t going to go anywhere if Darwin was sticking around.”

Raven arches a brow, her tone shifting.  “So you stuck around for a boy?”

“Oh, shut up.”  Alex blushes. “I just...I trust him, you know?  I was willing to follow his lead on that stuff.”

Raven laughs, just a little.  “It’s still sweet.”

Alex shakes her head.  “I guess.” She’s not sure how Raven is so good at shifting the conversation away from the horrors they’ve all just endured, but she’ll let her do it.  

“And he did kiss you,” Raven says, grinning outright.  “With everything else that was happening, he  _ kissed _ you.”

“Oh my god, Raven, please,” Alex says, voice a little pleading.  “I still don’t even know what to think about that.”

Raven rolls her eyes.  “Alex, it’s obvious he’s into you!”

Alex bites her lip.  “Maybe, but that doesn’t make it a good idea.”  

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s dangerous for me to be with anybody, Ray,” she points out.  “And not just because of my powers. And besides, even if people don’t, you know, figure me out, it would still be dangerous for him to be with me.”

Raven frowns, like none of that had occurred to her, because of course it hadn’t.  “That’s...that’s really sad,” she says.

“Yeah,” Alex says, nodding, her voice despairing a little.  “Yeah, it is.”

 

* * *

 

“Erik?  Perhaps we ought to retire to my study,” Charles says, drawing Alex’s attention away from her book a few days later.  

Erik and Charles had been playing a silent game of chess here in the library, so Alex had almost forgotten they were there.  She could hear, too, his tone of voice shifting into something she didn’t much like.

“Right,” Erik says, standing up.  She follows him with her eyes as he walks to the door, and then, at the door, she sees Darwin standing there, like he’s debating coming inside.

Charles and Erik really are  _ not _ subtle people.

Darwin slips into the room.  “Hey, Alex,” he says, and Alex pulls her knees in closer to her body, leaning as she is on the arm of the couch.

“Hey,” she replies, quietly.

“Things’ve been a little wild,” Darwin says, sitting down next to her on the couch.  “Haven’t had a chance to talk, since that night.”

She nods.  “Yeah. Considering the circumstances,” she says.  “And we had to settle in, I think that’s how Raven put it.”

He nods, too.  “Yeah. Looks like things are getting better, though.”

“Maybe,” she murmurs.  “If things don’t get all screwed up again, before we have the chance to go after Shaw.”

“Yeah.”  Darwin exhales.  “I’ve been talking to Charles about that.”

She doesn’t really want to know what, exactly, they’re talking about, when it comes down to this.  As long as she can get away with not thinking about any of this, she wants to do that.

She lays her head against the back of the couch.  “There’s gonna be a next time,” she murmurs, carefully.  “I’m gonna have to kill people, before this is all over.”  That much, she’s absolutely clear on. There’s no way for them all to survive this, without her using her mutation like the bomb behind her ribs that it is.

He’s quiet for a long time.  “Maybe,” he concedes. 

“I want Shaw to die,” she adds, her voice shivering a little.  “I could kill him, easy, if it was possible.”

Darwin takes her hand.  “Me too,” he agrees. “Not sure we’ll get the chance, though.  Erik’s pretty keen on doing that himself.”

“Yeah.”  She closes her eyes.  “But if I get the chance, I’m not gonna  _ not _ do it.”

“Me too,” Darwin repeats.  He squeezes her hand, gently.  “But we gotta be more careful. I can’t make assumptions about the enemy.”

She sits up a little, opening her eyes to look at him.  She frowns at his expression. “You shouldn’t blame yourself for that.  I’m the one who took the shot.”

“I told you to,” he points out.  

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I had to do it.  I could’ve not done it.” She won’t let him take all the blame for this, not when Shaw shoved  _ her _ power down his throat.  “But I did, and then I had to watch you burn.”

He squeezes her hand tighter.  “I’m sorry.”

“We both paid for our mistakes that night,” she says, shaking her head.  “You don’t need to apologize for anything.”

He bites his lip.  “You sure?”

“Yeah.”  She squeezes his hand back.  “Next time, we won’t screw it up.”  

“Right.”  He tugs at her hand a little.  “Come a little closer?”

She shifts, and as she does, he lets go of her hand so he can put an arm around her instead.  He's careful with her, his touch light, and she's never known a man like him in all her eighteen years.

He's quiet, for a long moment.  “Have you been settling in okay?”

“Yeah,” she murmurs.  “Raven's trying to help, but...she misses Angel, and so do I.”

“Me too,” he agrees.  “I get why she left, though.”

Alex nods.  “Yeah. It wasn’t...that place wasn’t really safe for us, not just because we’re mutants.”  She’s a transsexual ex-con, Darwin’s black, and Angel was trans, black, and a dancer at one of  _ those _ clubs.  “Government doesn’t give a shit.”

“Yeah.”  Darwin pulls her a little tighter against his side.  “We would’ve had to deal with that, eventually.”

“At least, here, Charles likes us,” she says, sardonically.  “And he’s the one who makes the rules, since it’s his house, and all.”

Darwin laughs, just a little.  “Yeah. At least we got that.”

Conversation peters out, after that, and eventually, she lets her head fall against his shoulder.  His thumb gently rubs against her arm where he’s holding her.

Maybe they don’t have to talk about what happened, she thinks.  Maybe, they can just be like this for a while.

She’d like that.

 


End file.
